I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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