My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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