My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
