Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize