Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
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I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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