theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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