bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
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New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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