Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
