i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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