Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
