i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
