that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
