ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
