His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
