I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
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I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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