he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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