on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
