Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
