Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
