WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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