Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize