I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Randomize
