I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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