dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
