I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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