He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
third nipple confirmed
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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