I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Randomize
