I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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