As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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