I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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