Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
