I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
