There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
