Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
soo... how was my night?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
