remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
