THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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