so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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