A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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