Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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