You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
