I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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