i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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