I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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