what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
