Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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