why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
