mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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