All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I wish I only lived at night.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
