where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
did you just send me my own nude
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
