I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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