WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
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So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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