Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
