You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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