You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
