using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
