Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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